It’s Monday morning, and your manager drops by your desk or sends a quick message: “Could you have that project review ready by end of day on Thursday?”
Instead of thinking, “Okay, this is great, I have 4 full days to complete it,” you start planning its deadline for end of Tuesday.
You think to yourself, this way you have all day Wednesday to review it and then make any final adjustments on Thursday. Thus bumping up the schedule by a couple of days and in the meantime, increasing your pressure to finish it.
Or how about this; you have a million things in your diary from school runs, to stakeholder meetings, project deadlines, personal errands, and then after school activities, but you still say yes to chairing the newly formed information governance committee because “you always say yes.”
We often tell ourselves we are just being efficient, organized, or helpful. But at what cost?
When we live under constant internal pressure, our nervous system doesn't know the difference between a real, hard deadline and a self-imposed one. To your body, the urgency feels exactly the same.
Your heart beats a little faster. Your shoulders creep up toward your ears. You might notice yourself staring blankly at the screen, caught in a cognitive freeze because your brain is treating a simple task like a survival threat.
Over time, this constant state of high alert leads to physical ailments, emotional strain, and eventual burnout.
We all know that in today’s world, pressure is everywhere. It’s in the social media we engage with, the number of activities we and/or our children are signed up for, the demands of being constantly “available” through our devices, and the fast-pace of our work environments which always seem to demand something further.
Well, one of the first ways is to bring awareness to it.
Where is it coming from and is there anything we can do to alleviate it?
One way to do this is to tally up all you have to do - and ask yourself, where is this coming from?
For example, you have a full diary at work and are busy in the evenings with your children’s after school events that require your presence or drop-off and pick-up. Next, you see the 48 cupcakes for a school fundraiser are due to be baked Wednesday night.
And, need I remind you of the project review you insisted on finishing two days before it was due and the new committee you said you’d chair?
You get the idea.
Yes, we have external pressures that are part of today’s life, but what we often fail to recognise is the added pressure we put on ourselves.
You don’t need to finish that report tomorrow, it’s not due for another 3 days. But perhaps there is a perfectionist within who wants several days to polish an already good deliverable.
Or maybe it’s the people pleaser shining through and agreeing to everything for everyone else except yourself.
When we can start identifying where we may be responsible for some of the pressure, we can start to release it. If we aren’t aware, that release can’t happen.
So, today, think of one thing that you feel great stress or pressure about and ask yourself: “Is there anything here that I can change to make this easier for me?”
And if the answer is yes, then apply it. If the answer is no, consider asking for assistance. Receiving help isn’t weakness, it’s soul-aligned sovereignty and self-care.
Here are five Love Actions, micro acts of self-care and compassion, you can start to implement that will help recognise self-imposed pressure, start to release it and transform patterns of over giving and over doing. Then you can start providing some loving compassion to replace the old behaviours. Because when we release things, it can be helpful to replace it with something that is kind for you.
Each takes less than five minutes.
1. The Pressure Check-In (Awareness)
Set a gentle alarm on your phone for mid-afternoon. When it goes off, pause for a moment and check your body. Are your shoulders up by your ears? Are you gripping the mouse tightly? Simply notice where you are holding tension without judging it. Just say to yourself, “Ah, there is some pressure here.”
2. The Deadline Audit (Noticing Patterns)
Look at your to-do list for the rest of the day. Pick one task and ask: “When is this honestly due?” Notice if you have accidentally moved the deadline forward in your mind just to get it out of the way, and gently acknowledge how much extra weight that adds to your day.
3. The Exhale Reset (Interrupting the Loop)
The next time you catch yourself rushing through an email or feeling the urge to fix something that is already good enough, stop. Place both feet flat on the floor. Take a long, slow breath in through your nose, and let it out through your mouth with a soft sigh. This physical sigh instantly signals to your brain that there is no immediate danger.
4. The Heart-Centred Belonging (Kinder Response)
Before unmuting your microphone for your next big meeting or opening a challenging document, place one hand over your heart. Feel the warmth of your hand against your chest. Take three deep breaths and silently tell yourself: “I belong here. I have got this.” Let that truth settle into your body before you take action.
5. The Rest Permission (Reinforcing the Pattern)
Give yourself five minutes today to do absolutely nothing productive. Sit with a cup of tea without looking at your phone, look out the window, or just close your eyes at your desk. If a thought pops up telling you that you should be working, gently remind your nervous system: “It is safe for me to rest right now.”
I hope these micro acts of love help you drop some of the self-imposed pressure and replace it with more self-care and kindness. If you are interested in pursuing greater calmness, please consider booking my session, Calm Under Pressure: Reduce Stress and Build Your 7-Day Reset.
Much love.
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